A Dog’s Life — Lessons For A Marriage | May-June 2010

So much of our dissatisfaction with life is of our own making.

It revolves around our thinking – where we focus our attention.

We saw this attitude a number of years ago with Yvonne. It seemed to happen when she would go shopping. Whenever she would walk into the home decorating section of a department store she would find herself feeling dissatisfied with the way our home was decorated. All she could focus on was all the things she did not have. By the time she got home she would look around with a critical eye and then state with a critical mouth everything that was wrong with the house. Unfortunately it did not stop with just the house. Soon she would turn her critical eye towards Bob and it would seem he could not do anything right.

This dissatisfaction seemed to permeate all of her thinking for a couple of days. It would then calm down until she went shopping again. Bob knew dealing with life this way was a dead end for Yvonne and the marriage, so he lovingly confronted her and suggested working on this together.

A verse we took to heart during this time is found in 1 Thessalonians 5:18,The other day we were with a group of friends and the conversation turned to a discussion about pets. More specifically, their dogs. As they shared stories about the funny antics of their pets, we had many laughs that afternoon.

When we got home that evening we reflected on that gathering and both of us had noticed that when our friends started talking about their dogs, they were enthusiastic. It got us thinking as to what was it about their dogs that had them speak with such great affection about them. So we decided to make a list of the qualities that make a great dog. To help us in making the list we reflected on the conversations with our friends as well as our memories from the two special dogs we had in our childhood. Brandy, the Golden Retriever that Yvonne’s family loved so much, and Big Al Capone (Big Al for short) the half Canadian Timber wolf and half German Shepherd that Bob cherished so much. In fact, Bob often jokes that in wrestling matches Big Al could take down Bob two out of three times.

As we wrote the list we realized that the qualities that we cherished in our dogs, should be qualities that we as mates should strive to live out in our marriage. As you read through them you might ask yourself how you are doing in building these qualities into your marriage.

GREAT QUALITIES IN A DOG

They Are Loyal

No one knows more about loyalty than dogs. They are there with you 24/7. When times are tough for their owner, they do not pull away or go looking for another owner. No, they walk besides you through any challenging situation. When Yvonne’s younger brother was nine years old he came down with a life threatening illness. Their dog, Brandy, would not leave his side for one week until the worst was over. That is loyalty.

How are you doing concerning loyalty towards your mate?

Hebrews 13:5, “…God assured us, ‘I’ will never let you down, never walk off and leave you’…..”

They Accept You

They love you the way you are and will even love you no matter how unlovable you are on any given day. Since they are not continually trying to change you or are critical about your actions, it causes you to strive to be the person your dog thinks you are.

How are you doing accepting your mate?

Romans 15:7, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”

They Listen To You

You can talk over your problems and ideas with them and they will never criticize you. They will also keep confidences as you share different things with them. Bob remembers how his dog, Big Al, got him through some tough times as a child. As he would talk to him about his problems he remembers Big Al always cocking his head and giving him his full attention. As long as Bob was talking to him, eye-to-eye, Big Al’s eyes were never diverted or distracted. Through his attentiveness it made Bob feel that every word he was saying was worthy of listening to.

How are you doing in listening to your mate when they speak?

James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

They Are Grateful

Dogs let you know when you’ve made them happy. Watch them when you either feed them or throw a ball at them. They get all excited. Their tails starts wagging. They jump up and down or run around in circles. In other words, their appreciation towards something you have done is not a secret, it is noticeable.

How are you doing in showing gratefulness towards your mate for something they have done?

1Thess 5:16-18, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

They Are Great Companions

They really want to be around you. Have you noticed how you never have to beg them to spend some time with you? In fact, if they get an inkling that you may be going somewhere, they rush to the door eagerly waiting to leave with you. To your dog, it isn’t so much about where you are going, it is just that they want to hang out with you because they like being with you. Also when you have been away from them, they are always glad to see you come walking through the door. You always get a warm welcome home.

How are you doing when it comes to spending time with your mate, are you eager about it?

John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”

They Are Forgiving

When you have an awful day and you, unfortunately, take it out on them, instead of holding it against you they will come up and look at you with those puppy dog eyes that can melt you right on the spot.

How are you doing in forgiving your mate when they have blown it?

Eph 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you.”

So how did you do? Are you saying to yourself, “Hmmmm, well truthfully I could do better.” Okay, here then is a suggestion. In the next six weeks, take one quality for one week and work on it. Then the next week, add the second quality and work on both of them. By the end of six weeks you will end up being the person your dog really thinks you are.

And to be sure that you have Peace With God we would like to encourage you to visit www.billygraham.org and then click on Spiritual Help followed by clicking on Steps To Peace With God. You may want to share this link with family and friends.

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