Small Stuff in Marriage

It’s the small stuff that can make a big difference!

With Bob’s recent spine/back episode we found that it was the small stuff that we attended to that has enabled Bob to repair so quickly and get back to functioning as usual. Things like proper rest, stretching, exercising, taking a lot of nutrients, seeking good medical advice, and of course all the great Emails you sent as well as your faithful prayers. All of these things have made a huge difference in Bob’s life and journey to full mobility. Thank you for the part you played in his recovery.

As we were thinking about all the small things done in his recovery we also thought about it in terms of a marriage relationship. Oftentimes we’ve noticed that it’s the “small stuff” in marriage that can cause us to become irritated with our spouse. Like the socks that are always left on the floor, or constant nagging, or nearly empty juice containers put back in the frig. Ughhh!

Since we know that those small things can leave such a negative impact in the marriage we decided to do something to counter the negative “stuff.” We decided to do a number of positive small things for each other daily. We’re taught in Prov 3:27 – “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.” Our mate does deserve it.

Here is some of the “small stuff” we do in our marriage —

**We laugh together. A lot. Daily. We look for things like cartoons, funny Emails, funny movies we can watch together, as well as we’ve learned to be more playful with one another. Yes, there is much sorrow and sadness out and about, and we are aware of that, but we focus a lot on the joy and humor that is also out and about. As the Bible teaches us, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.”

**Each day we let one another know at least one thing we appreciate about each other, and we can’t use the same one every day. We actively look for what is right with one another. It sets a great atmosphere in our marriage.

**We say “I love you” many times and in a variety of ways. We say it orally as well as we write it. We leave love notes around the house and even have spelled it with “cheerios.’ We let our creative juices flow.

**We try to speak to one another as if we were speaking to a stranger – meaning – with a pleasant tone of voice and using common courtesies like ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Sadly, too often we are more polite to strangers then members of our own family. We are often sad to see and hear how some married couples speak to each another, and often in public. When that happens we usually observe hidden anger and resentment.

**We pray together every day. We seek God’s guidance and wisdom as we start our day, and give thanksgiving to Him before we go to sleep. This has made a major difference in our marriage as we see how God has been melding our heart’s together to truly become TeamMates.

These small things have set a positive tone in our marriage and we are reaping the benefits. Plus it has helped us to not take each other and our marriage for granted as every day we are turning our thoughts and actions towards the other.

What are the “small stuffs” you do in your marriage that has made a difference? (BTW, Email us and let us know and with your permission we would like to include them in a future newsletter Emailing.) What are some things you could start to do if you haven’t already? Remember, “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” but do remember to do those special small things for each other every day.

Next month is Honor Your Pastor month

Here are a few of our suggestions to consider in honoring your pastor —

^^The mightiest gift is praying for your pastor and his family in any challenges and struggles they may be experiencing, and we all face those.

^^Send him a thank you card after one of his particularly helpful sermons. Offer to baby sit so he and his wife can go out on a date together. If there is a yard project he could have help in, offer yours. No, not your yard – YOUR HELP.

^^Pray before he gives the sermon and ask God to help you hear Him through your pastor and then put into application the lesson taught. That way you will honor your pastor and the Lord.

^^Don’t just be a spectator on Sunday mornings, or whenever you attend your church, but be a participant. Your pastor works hard to make your fellowship a true Christian community. You will honor him by taking an active part in something in your church activities and programs.

^^Pray Psalm 1:3 for your pastor – “And He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water…and whatever he does shall prosper.”

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