“How come you always notice the things I do wrong, but never seem to notice the things I do right?”

That’s what my husband, Bob, said to me when I pointed out that he had forgotten to wipe off the counters after he finished doing the dishes. Then he added, “I have a terrific idea! Next time why don’t you do the dishes since I never seem to do them right, or do anything else right to please you!” With those stinging words Bob exited the room.

God used that incident to show me that I needed to change the way I perceived my husband. I had been focusing on the few things that he did not do right, and too eager to point them out, instead of focusing on all the things he did do right. No wonder Bob hesitated when I asked him to do things.

I followed Bob into the other room and asked his forgiveness, which he gave, and then I asked God to show me how I could start seeing those things that were right in his life. As I prayed and searched the Scriptures, I came up with a method that helped change my focus, which in turn changed how I would deal with Bob. I call it – Think, Thank and Tell.

THINK

Realizing that I had developed faulty thinking, I went to Philippians 4:8, which says, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” Oops! It says to focus on what is right, something I had not been doing.

Over the next few days, to counter my critical thinking, I decided to make a list of ten great things about Bob. As I wrote my list, I prayed, “Lord, please open my eyes to see what is right.” I would like to tell you that after I prayed I was able to quickly write down those ten qualities, but I can not tell you that. It took me over a week, of continually praying that same prayer, for the Lord to remove the blinders covering my eyes and for me to complete the list. Since it took so long, I became aware of really how critical I had become.

Now it is your turn. Pick a person – your mate, a child, a co-worker, and write up a list of ten great things about them. After you have done this, you are ready for the next step.

THANK

It is amazing how having a thankful heart changes the way we look at our circumstances. And change is what God wanted to develop in me. In Ephesians 5:20 we read, “Always (give) thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” So for the next week, in the morning and in the evening, I read that list slowly, thanking God for each of those qualities. At the end of the week I realized those qualities were not just items written on a list, they were those things that made him who he is ? the man I fell in love with. My thankfulness helped me see him in a totally new light.

TELL

After going through those two stages, now I was ready to tell Bob the good things I see in him. Unfortunately, when I gave Bob the first compliment, he gave me a puzzled look and seemed to be waiting for the negative words to come out of my mouth. But after a couple of days of my consistently thanking him for all the good things he was doing, he got past the “What is she setting me up for?” stage and realized that God was working in me, changing me. The change in me changed and greatly improved our marriage.

If you are looking for a gift to give your loved one – give them the gift of letting them know what is right in their life.

And to be sure that you have Peace With God we would like to encourage you to visit www.billygraham.org and then click on Spiritual Help followed by clicking on Steps To Peace With God. You may want to share this link with family and friends.