Those Important First Five Minutes

When Bob was serving as the Pastor of Marriage and Family Ministries at a Washington DC area church a couple of years ago, one of his accomplishments was creating a new adult Sunday School class titled “TeamMates.” We’ve been told that it continues today as the largest adult SS class at the church.

 
One Sunday morning as we were teaching the class God planted a thought in Bob’s mind that veered him away from what he was saying at a certain moment, and what he said was —
 
“During those important first five minutes in the morning, if you haven’t been saying these words to each other, consider saying – “How can I minister to you today? What can I do today to be a more Godly husband/wife to you?”
 
A simple statement that was ‘accidentally’ thrown in the mix. But was it ‘simple’ and was it ‘accidentally’ thrown into the mix? Not. To wit —
 
After the class two men at different times spoke to Bob, one with tears in his eyes. With his permission we relay to you some of what he told Bob: “I was stunned when you said those words. Suddenly a surge of shame swept through me. Ashamed for the way I treat my wife in the morning. I usually grumble and give orders since I’m not much of a morning person. I don’t think anything close to spiritual thoughts and nowhere near to what you said. I felt ashamed for being such a selfish husband and not a Godly husband. Throughout the rest of your speaking I fought back tears and made a firm resolve, with God’s help, to change my ways – change my attitude – change my focus.”
 
He left telling Bob that he was going to talk to his wife when she came home from work (a Realtor) and that he would call him later on Sunday to let him know how that conversation went. With nervousness and anticipation he eagerly awaited her arrival for he wanted to be alone with her and apologize to her and tell her how much he loved her and how he truly wanted to be a Godly husband to her.
 
Yipes, talk about holding back tears. Bob was practically a puddle of water listening to a man pour out his heart and soul for his beloved spouse. Both of us are always especially blest when we hear a man speak like that. The second man thanked us for our talk and pulled us aside to tell us he would definitely be doing this every morning from now on.
 
Later that afternoon the first man followed through with a call to Bob and evidently his special time with his wife will go into their personal marriage memory books of an ultimate moment of spiritual intimacy. He told her what he told Bob what he was going to say, and her response was one of also being stunned and very deeply touched by the love and humility of her husband. He said they knelt down before each other and cried together and held onto each other for a good 15 minutes. No exaggeration – 15 minutes of tears and prayers.
 
Since that memorable day he puts into action his new phrase every morning, and now so does she. Their marriage level has risen and it is now unlike the previous 11 years of their relationship. They have both resolved to institute this new morning greeting every day for as long as they live.
 
If you’re married our question to you is – will YOU give the same morning greeting to your spouse? May we ‘challenge’ you if you’re not already doing this – is when you awaken in the morning, look at your spouse and say – “What can I do today to minister to you? What can I do today to be a more Godly husband/wife to you?” If not convenient together in the early morn, then set a mutually agreeable time. Keep in mind that whatever your spouse says in response, honor his/her words and live out your ministry to them by the power of the Holy Spirit who lives in all Christians..
 
Exercise those loving you-are-the-most-important-person-in-my-life words and do so for at least the next week. We sense you’ll want to indefinitely continue. If you feel comfortable then E-mail us and tell us how God is using this in your marriage.
 
Within 10 days of that ‘accidental’ Sunday we heard from 13 couples who had taken these phrases seriously and implemented them into their daily lives. The result? A mega difference in their relationship with our Lord – and with each other.

 

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