“How come you do not hardly talk with me anymore?” Yvonne asked Bob

“Do you really want to know?” he responded.

“Yes, tell me.”

“Okay, I will tell you but do not interrupt me because if you do I will stop talking.”

“Alright. Alright. I agree. Just tell me” Yvonne replied with exasperation in her voice.

“The reason I do not talk to you much any more is because just about every time I do you correct and criticize me, so I would rather talk to just about anyone else other than you.”

As Yvonne kept her mouth shut long enough to listen, she realized she was pushing her husband away due to her negative habit of correcting and criticizing. For the sake of her marriage, Yvonne knew she needed to change that negative habit.

She also knew making a change is a lot harder than it first seems and it works best when you have someone to help you. As it says in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work.”

Bob teamed up with Yvonne to develop a strategy to achieve the goal where he would be comfortable and confident in conversations with Yvonne again.

FOUR STEPS TO CHANGE A NEGATIVE HABIT

APOLOGY

If you have a habit that is having a negative effect on your mate then you need to begin with two apologies.

You first confess it to the Lord. In 1 John 1:9 it says, “If (note the word – IF) we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” By starting here, God will give you the right attitude when you approach your mate with the second apology.

AWARENESS

To change a negative habit you have to become aware of how often you do it otherwise you will convince yourself it isn’t that bad and not in need of a change.

Since Bob and Yvonne decided to work on this together, Bob devised a way to get Yvonne’s attention.? Every time she would start to correct and/or criticize him; Bob would say, in a nice tone, “C & C” and nothing else.? This was to bring awareness to Yvonne about how many times she did this habit.? After only three days we stopped counting as it was up to 21 times.? NOW Yvonne was convinced and motivated to take the next step.

ACTION

In order to do this step one does not simply abandon the old habit by saying, “I will just stop doing it.”? Habits are persistent and do not want to leave easily. There will be a void in that