The beginning of the new year is when most of us want to make changes in our life, hence “resolutions.” One of our traditions is going through our physical house and as we do that how good it feels when clutter is removed.

We base it on Ephesians 5:15-16, “Live life with a due sense of responsibility, not as those who do not know the meaning of life but as those who do. Make the best use of your time…..”

We encourage you to do what we do – and that is to get out of the house for an hour or two to talk through three questions you’ll see below. If you have young children at home and getting out of the house is a bit of a challenge, be creative in what you can do so you will be alone together. In other words – Find The Time!

Question #1

What areas worked for us this past year and do we want to continue them?

We start with a ‘positive’ – meaning – what worked for us. We discuss a variety of areas of our life – financial, physical, spiritual, sexual and relational areas. Starting with the ‘good news’ always gives us encouragement about what we’re doing right in our relationship. A biblical example of starting with encouragement is evidenced with the writings of the Apostle Paul who starts his letters with positive salutations.

Here’s a small but powerfully loving example of what worked for us last year and we’ll continue in ’05. Oftentimes when we’d pass each other in the hallway, or when one was leaving to run an errand, we’d give a fly-by-peck-on-the-cheek. It became a non-thinking routine. We both want more than that in our relationship, so we created something new. In our smooch we now pause and exchange not one, not two, but three kisses. This causes us to focus on each other.

Discuss what worked for you and do you want to continue it – and maybe improve upon it?

Question #2

What areas did not work for us – why – and do we want to do something

differently?

At the beginning of last year we decided that we were going to put aside some days to have “down time” and go exploring Washington, DC, since we lived just outside of it. We talked a lot about it but didn’t discipline ourselves to follow through. So life took over and pushed out down-time for us to just enjoy each other. We got occupied with a lot of “stuff” — ministry work, the massive preparation to move and then the actual moving back to California, the death of Yvonne’s step-mom, to name just a few. So this area didn’t work for us.

This year we definitely are going to do something about down-time. After scheduling our time with God, we are now scheduling ourselves first in our calendar, so we will have time to explore our new living area in Southern California and have fun on a ‘date’ together.

Question #3

Is there anything new we want to add this year?

As we discussed these areas of our marriage and family we decided to just add two new things in our life as we didn’t want to overwhelm ourselves.

This year we have decided to read aloud together The Message, which is the Bible in contemporary language (human author, Eugene Peterson) – not as a study but a reading – and then discuss what we’ve read. We’ve already started with the Psalms.

Also for this year we have again cranked up swimming. More than just for pleasure, but for a serious cardio workout.

How About You?

We encourage you to pose these trio of questions to each other and then, “Make your plans, counting on God to direct you.” (Prov. 16:9), and we encourage you to do so every January.

In February we’ll share some tidbits on how to make any changes you’ve made – STICK – with Part Two.

We pray for you to have a healthy, happy and holy 2005. We are claiming that our Lord will continue His good work in you and through you, and that you will stay faithful to your love and obedience to Him, and will continue living each day in preparation for His return. Thank you for your love, prayers and support for us personally and for this ministry – His ministry!