We love Christmas and everything about it: The twinkling lights – good music – delicious food – lots of fun activities – and – getting together with family and friends. As the song says, “It is the most wonderful time of the year” and it is as we celebrate the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. But, unfortunately, the reality for too many of us is that it can be one of the most stressful times fraught with landmines that can go off unexpectedly. Over the years we have implemented some things into our family at this time of year so we will not step on thethem.

Here are some tips to help you prevent family landmines.

Discuss Expectations

When expectations go unspoken conflict can occur. To overcome this have a family meeting as soon as possible and develop a plan. Discuss, pray and be in agreement with: where and with whom you are spending Christmas – how many activities will you as a family be involved in – and – how much money are you going to spend at this time of the year?

Set A Budget And Stick To It

Over-spending at this time of year can end up hurting you for months in the new year. We decided a long time ago to set dollar amount limits on the gifts we would buy. We did not want to go into debt for a bunch of stuff most of us could not remember a few months after Christmas that we had received. One year we all decided that the gifts we gave to one another had to be hand made We found it was fun as we prayed and asked the Lord to help us be creative. The gift Bob gave to Yvonne many years ago is still hanging up on our hall wall and is a handwritten note expressing his love. That gift is been well remembered.

Learn To Delegate

A way to not enjoy the holidays is when one person is over burdened with all the preparations for Christmas. If we are thinking that everything has to look and go perfect throughout the holidays then there will be plenty of stress and others will lose out on the privilege of helping and serving. Instead get everyone involved because the theme for the holidays is “family” with everyone working and serving together. Let them pitch in with the shopping, wrapping, cooking, setting the table, clean up, well, you get the drift. This is a wonderful time of year to practice servanthood.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Have you noticed the best laid plans do not always go according to plan. Yes, you make your plans for the holidays but when those plans go another direction, acknowledge it and move on. One Christmas Eve dinner, the fish that was being served to the family and friends turned to mush. Bob joked that we could drink the fish. We all laughed and we realized there was plenty of other food available, and we learned the meal was not the important part of the evening but what was was the lingering conversations we had at the dinner table.

Extend Love And Forgiveness To Family Members

When we come together as family we often idealize family relationships – meaning – we keep thinking the relatives will be ‘different’ than they were last year. If we are realistic about them we will be more relaxed and can have a better reaction to possible negative situations. When your sister criticizes your cooking, simply smile and extend grace and forgiveness. When your uncle goes off about your Christian beliefs as he always does, don’t argue. Diffuse him with a smile and say, “Well, I can see you feel very strongly about your views” and then change the subject. That’s extending love and grace. A verse that has meant so much to us in settings like this is Colossians 4:6, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Nip Stress Before It Starts

There are a number of things we can do faithfully during the holiday season that will allow our body, mind and soul to effectively deal with stress.

Make getting enough sleep a priority for if you do not you will not have either the energy or mood to enjoy the holidays. Do not overindulge in foods high in sugar and fat. One small bite can satisfy your sweet tooth. Increase your intake of vegetables and fruits as they contain the vitamins and minerals that help reduce stress. Get more movement in your life. Park the car a distance from the store entrance. One of the best ways to de-stress is to spend time daily with Jesus through prayer and reading the Bible. When we do this He really helps us to keep our priorities in line during a very busy time of the year. Also others will sense His presence in you and can be drawn to Him. What a great gift to give others this holiday season.

We both wish you a joyous and blessed Christmas!

(And to be sure that you have Peace With God we would like to encourage you to visit www.billygraham.org and then click on Spiritual Help followed by clicking on Steps To Peace With God. You may want to share this link with family and friends.